Summer Love Blues? Tips to make your long distance relationship work!

Love, Dating, and Relationship Advice with Jazmin Moral

Posted on Wednesday, 03/09/2014
By:Kesta Love

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder?  

A recent study found that couples who live apart have more meaningful interactions than those who see each other daily. Those in long distance relationships shared more of their thoughts, feelings, and emotions and had more meaningful conversations. When we see someone every day it can be easier to take them for granted, or to spend time together just watching TV or socializing with others around, but not really being present with one another.  Being far away from your loved one makes every interaction more precious, and it can lead to more conversations and sharing because communication is the only way to stay connected.  

Here is a breakdown of what makes a long distance relationship work:

  • You both have to be equally invested and interested in making it work.  If both people aren’t willing to put in equal amounts of effort in maintaining frequent and meaningful communication, then it will lead to disappointment and hurt feelings.
  • Being able to see your loved one’s facial expressions while you talk makes a big difference.  Make time to Skype or videochat often, daily if possible, or at least as often as you would see each other if you lived in the same city.  Research shows that the available technology has been a major driver in the increase in long distance relationships. 
  • Know your own limitations regarding jealousy.  If you are someone who gets easily jealous in most relationships, then a long distance relationship is likely to become a source of anguish.  Your loved one will most likely be socializing, going to parties, and doing most things without you (because you live far away) and then you’ll see pictures, and hear stories that will probably make you feel left out, or just all around terrible.  Are you able to really trust your partner? Think about how realistic it will be for you to have a sense of peace and not constantly wonder if your loved one is being unfaithful.
  • You must be able to freely voice your fears, worries or jealousy to your partner and trust that you won’t be judged.  We all have moments of weakness, and when we are able to share those feelings openly and receive support and understanding from our partner it can be extremely reassuring and lead to greater emotional intimacy.
  • It is not realistic to go without physical contact with your loved one for very long periods. You need to be able to visit each other on a fairly regular basis.  Depending on how far away you live from each other this can get expensive.

Long distance relationships aren’t easy, but they can work. This won’t magically happen though, you have to make time and prioritize your relationship.

Love Column

 

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