Love, Dating, and Relationship Advice with Jazmin Moral.
The holiday season is right around the corner. Here are some tips to maintain your relationship sanity and avoid holiday drama!
Keep the lines of communication open and make decisions together:
Make sure to have an open conversation in advance to decide where and how to celebrate the holidays. If you are in a new relationship, it may be too soon to meet each other’s families. If it’s a well-established relationship, maybe you decide to alternate and spend this year with your family and next year with his. Or maybe you are going to try to make two family celebrations on the same night (which can be exhausting!) Whatever works for both of you is what matters. The important thing is to make the decisions together and to come up with a plan that feels comfortable for both of you. The worst thing you can do, and what often leads to hurt feelings, is to make assumptions about what you think is going to happen, or what he or she “should” do. Don’t try to read each other’s mind because you could end up disappointed (i.e. you get him an iPad, he didn’t realize you were exchanging gifts). Once you have a plan, respect it, and don’t try to pressure the other. We all have our own traditions, and levels of “holiday cheer” that feel comfortable and familiar.
Accept that family time can be stressful and imperfect:
Few people can push our buttons like our family members can. Maybe your parents still treat you like a child, or as soon as you get together with your siblings you all start arguing like 12 year-olds. Whatever it is, talk to your significant other about it, that way they can be prepared and know what they are walking into, and also be more aware and able to give your emotional support if things start getting tense. A hug, smile, or sympathetic look from the one you love will go a long way in helping you feel better about the whole thing. Even after your ‘favorite’ tia just asked you (again) why you are still unmarried.
Stay connected with your partner:
The holiday season can get hectic, and between social gatherings, family time, shopping and work parties, just spending time together as a couple can often go to the bottom of the list. Couples need quiet time together to really reconnect and remind each other that they have each other’s backs. In the midst of the busy season, make sure to prioritize a dinner for two, or a quiet night in to catch up with your significant other. And when attending holiday gatherings where one of you doesn’t know many of the people there- unless your significant other is a social butterfly- be sensitive and ask about their comfort level and maybe even come up with a signal to use when he or she is feeling left out, bored or needs your company. This could go a long way in avoiding hurt feelings.